I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
