we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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