Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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