My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
