ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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