if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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