they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
