i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
