Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
