Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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