can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
