Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
