Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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