so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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