well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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