i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i need some magic done to my vagina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
