PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We are all done wearing pants today
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
