I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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