I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
