I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
