You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have fence marks all over my body
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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