Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
