She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize