i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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