My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize