Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize