You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
