U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
