So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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