i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
