how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
