it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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