So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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