yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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