This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize