I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
