Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
