I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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