people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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