I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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