So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
operation harelip BJ is a go
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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