She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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