Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
