my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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