I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
