I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
