You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
