On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
