fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
