i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize