I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sarcasm needs its own font
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
