I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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