I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
