i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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