If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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