Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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