Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
