Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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