kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
