My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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