Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
