I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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