dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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